A Year Into the Pandemic of 2020-2021

As the pandemic drags on, I find that I am becoming more scatter-brained. I start one project, then walk into another room as I go to refresh my cup of tea and suddenly, I’m on a different project with my cup still cold and close to empty. Nothing seems to get finished. This Polar Vortex has made it worse. The wintery sky – so gray when I look out of the window. Even the birds seem to have lost their vibrant colors. This is NOT me. “ME” is attention oriented. “ME” is detail oriented. “ME” is focused. “ME” has checklists on top of checklists that are religiously checked and updated every evening before I go to bed, then crossed off as I get things done. “ME” accomplishes things. This “Other Person” is not “ME” and yet… When I do focus, it is for others. Clients. Friends. Making Masks. Projects that involve my doing for others. Then my focus sharpens and I accomplish things. I keep all the balls in the air at the same time and ensure that nothing drops, nothing is missed. But, when it is just me, my brain is “mushy”. What was it that I walked into this room to get? Where did I put….. What was it I wanted to tell Mike? Did I call Annette and tell her… what was it I was going to tell her? My focus is lost. The kitchen table covered with partially worked projects. Books for 4 different book discussion groups, plus a fifth book for the one I’m really reading right now. The dining room becoming a catchall when I need to clear the kitchen table. The living and dining rooms, still full of sewing supplies from making masks and boxes of things to be “rehomed”. Some days are better than others. Today the sun shone and the sky was bright blue. The snow and ice melted around the heated bird bath that had gotten encrusted with ice around the rim, from the extreme cold. My focus was better. Today I got things done. I crossed things off the list. But tomorrow, more snow is coming and the sky will be gray again and the bone chilling cold will keep me inside. Conversations with friends make me feel better. I’m not alone. Others have had the same issue since COVID has dragged on and on. It’s worse for those who are more isolated. Where things are delivered and they never leave home. “Buddy Checks” from friends, family and church help as they give people a chance to talk to others. Creating projects that are mentally stimulating help – writing blogs and family histories, taking online courses, projects that force them to use their brains to puzzle out solutions. But still it’s trying. At times my mind starts to wander and I wonder how the early explorers, trappers and pioneers who so often only saw other people a few times a year managed it. Oh, How I wish I could reset my brain to before COVID hit. When it was needle sharp and my focus was constant. When I could call a friend and meet up for lunch and a long stimulating chat. That day is coming.